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An alarm on our Google dot rings; it is five o’clock, time to transition into the last part of the day.

While the alarm can be a tad annoying, we need a gentle push in the evening. We are tired, and if we don’t intentionally choose how we spend our time, it’s easy to fall into an evening of screens, disconnection, and snacking.

The alarm signals my husband to put his work away, or if he’s at work, to remind us he’ll be home soon.

The alarm is a reminder for my kids to do their chores.

It reminds me to rally my people when they ignore the alarm and begin dinner.

It’s five o’clock- time for all of us to help out around the house.

We call them chores, and it’s true; no one wants to empty the dishwasher or take out the trash, but I try to reframe the mundane and think of what we have to do as opportunities to take care of our home and be in community together.

Eating well, spending time together, and appreciating what we have is hard to do when the house is chaotic. We’re more likely to eat out or not eat well because cooking is a pain when the kitchen is a mess. We can’t sit together at the table when it’s covered with projects, so we head to the couch, tune out conversation, and tune into TV.

My family and I want our home to be our sanctuary. We want it to be cozy and functional. But, for this to happen consistently, we must care for it together.

My daughter cleans up the homeschool projects of the day. She feeds the dogs and takes out the compost.

My son sets the table and takes out the recycling. He retrieves the many dishes and glasses that find their way into his room, washes them, and puts them in the dishwasher.

My husband and I take turns cooking and folding laundry. 

By 5:30, dinner is cooking, my husband and I are on the couch, and my kids are back doing whatever they were previously doing.

These daily chores take hardly any time as long as we work together.

At six or so we begin to gather around the kitchen table. One kid opens a bag of salad and tosses the ingredients together. Another, I’ll call three times. Finally, the dogs find their places under the table, and we sit for twenty or so minutes, eating and talking together.

Nothing is done perfectly. Sometimes there is grumbling.

Regardless, we are here, perfectly imperfect, sharing time, food, and moments from our day.

Sharing the Load

If we want our families to be in community, we have to create ways for everyone to be involved. No one wants to do all the chores. Nor should they have to.

My children have helped out around the house since they could walk. They stacked sippy cups, put a scoop of cat food in a bowl, and often stood on chairs to help me make dinner.

Did things take a little longer? Of course. Did laundry folding end up with the kids trying on everyone’s clean underwear and running around the house? Every. Single. Time.

But the extra time served us. Over and over, it showed my kids the importance of working together and sharing the load.

Creating Helpers in Our Home

When it comes to creating helpers, there are a few tools I’ve found really helpful.

Set a Timer

Over the years, we have used charts and lists of all types. The best reminder continues to be an alarm. Chore charts are fine, but I’ve realized it’s not a matter of who does what as much as what needs to be done. We work together until things are put away or no longer need attention.

Create a Daily Routine

It’s good to ask ourselves what needs to happen and when. I am not interested in spending all day cleaning or letting my home get so out of hand that we hide if someone knocks on the door. Doing a bit each day makes a huge difference. I’ve found it’s best if we tend to the kitchen, laundry, and general pick-up every day.

Create a Weekly Routine

We save things that take longer, like vacuuming or cleaning the bathrooms, for the weekend. My children knew their rooms needed to be picked up on Saturday so I could vacuum and my husband could dust. We divide and conquer, so the bigger chores take just a little bit of time.

(Note- now that they are teens, they dust and vacuum their rooms, which for one of them happens rarely.)

Helping is Not Optional

I don’t attach money or screen time to chores. If I did, it would give off the impression we chose. I’m not interested in negotiating- Help or lose screen time. Help or don’t get an allowance. While I don’t literally force my children to help, it is assumed they will help. When they complain, we talk about what is fair. Should their dad or I do it all?

Kids get it and, like most people, want to be kind and helpful. Reminders are, OF COURSE, needed, and cleaning one’s room is never fun, but in our house, it’s just what we do, and that expectation has served us all well.

It’s All About Attitude

Everyone suffers if I yell or make a huge deal about our messy house. I know this because when we let things go, I get stressed and turn into what my daughter likes to call “Robo Mommy.”  No one likes Robo Mommy, including me. I’ve learned my attitude makes a big difference. It’s not just about getting chores done.

While cleaning is not fun, some things can make it more enjoyable.

• Listen to music, podcasts, or audiobooks.
• Create challenges to see how fast items can be put away.
• Let kids choose their chores. When my kids were little, they thought it was fun to wash windows and vacuum.
• Do something fun afterward.
• Help each other. I’ll help you clean your room. You help me fold the laundry.

Chores need to get done, but they don’t need to be painful. Family chore time isn’t the best part of our day, but it’s not the worst part, either. When we work together, we can relax and play together.

Bonus- when your kids leave home, they’ll know how to do laundry and pick up after themselves. This, of course, is NOT a guarantee they will do these things, but rest assured they will know how 🙂