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I haven’t counted, but it would be fair to say that 1 in 2 people who find out I homeschool tell me they could never homeschool and be with their kids all day long because they don’t have enough patience. I am a patient person, sometimes, and I’d guess you are too. Sometimes, I am also very impatient, and sometimes my patience varies depending on the situation. I don’t believe some of us have a well of patience, and others don’t. I think it comes down to our interest, well-being, and practice. Are you patient enough to homeschool? Yes, you are. As long as you and your family want to homeschool, take care of your needs, and see patience as a practice, Patience will find you.
How to Have Patience
When it comes to homeschooling, I don’t think the question we need to ask is, Do I have enough patience. Instead, I think we need to ask ourselves:
Does my family want to homeschool?
Am I taking care of myself?
Do I see patience as something I can practice?
The answer to these questions is important and can help us determine how much patience we’ll be able to offer.
Does My Family Want to Homeschool?
Here’s the good news, there are a billion ways to homeschool, so if you want to homeschool, you’ll figure out away. There are no set hours, resources, or methods. Some of us homeschool early in the morning, others in the evening. Some of us use a curriculum; some don’t. Some of us have money, and some of us live below the poverty line. Some of us work outside the home (or from home), run farms and businesses, care for elderly parents, etc. Long story short, I don’t know a homeschooler who isn’t wearing many hats. Only you can decide if the life you live should include homeschooling.
The question I ask myself every year is, Does homeschooling fit into our lifestyle in a way that it helps my kids and family thrive?
By thrive, I mean, Are we receiving more from homeschooling than it’s taking from us?
Yes! We Want to Homeschool
If the answer is yes, know that homeschooling will be chaotic, messy, stressful, and hard. It will also be rewarding, hysterical, joyful, and sweet. The good and hard will probably be present most days, but if we want to homeschool and make choices and changes to ensure it’s working for all of us, it will be more sweet than sour. When we see and feel our family thriving, our friend Patience visits us more often because we know and believe we can work through the hard things and it will be worth it.
Some of Us Want to Homeschool, and Others Don’t
If the answer is no from one of you, it’s okay. No shame. Whoever that person is, be it an adult or child, they shouldn’t have to go along with something they don’t want to do. My son chose to go to school in 7th grade. Do I wish he was home? For my worry and being able to travel off-season, yes. For him, no. He’s happier in school. If I forced him to stay home, he’d be unhappy. His attitude and behavior would show it; our connection would suffer, and guess whose patience would be at an all-time low? MINE!
While it may seem easier if everyone does the same thing, if someone doesn’t want to be where they are, they will show it, and it could make things a lot harder. When a challenge is constantly present, eventually, patience hits the road for all of us.
If our partner doesn’t want to homeschool, it’s more complicated. Not being in that situation, I can’t speak directly about it. Still, as the person who has pretty much-done everything solo related to homeschooling, I can share that my partner’s support looks like parenting and partnership. He takes the kids to their activities, hangs out with them in the evenings when I’m working, supports my solo travels, grocery shops, cooks dinner a few nights a week, does chores, and picks up my slack when I’ve scheduled to many things.
I find patience during the challenging moments thanks to his help. I’m not doing it all on top of homeschooling and working. If I were, my patience would be hard to find.
We don’t have to share the homeschooling role, but we need support in other ways, which brings me to the importance of having time to ourselves and support.
Am I Taking Care of Myself?
I have many supports that help me have patience. One of them is time to myself every day. I would not be patient if my daughter and I spent all day together. She wouldn’t be patient with me either.
It takes time to figure out what we individually need to give our families patience. Once I figured out what I needed, it also took time to claim the time I needed and do so without feeling guilty.
Slowly by surely, practice after practice, I know that to offer my homeschooler the patience she needs when things are rough, I need to have had a good night’s sleep, time to myself every day, something to look forward to (for me it’s travel), and my house needs to orderly. I can’t offer these things to myself without help.
Myth-Buster- Homeschoolers Spend 24-7 with Their Kids?
If spending all day with your children brings you joy, by all means, do it. But for the majority of homeschoolers I know, co-ops, mentors, online and in-person classes, playgroups, family, and friends, offer our children and us plenty of time away from one another.
Do I homeschool because I want to be with my children all day, every day? No. No, I do not! I also don’t want to be with my husband or anyone all. the. time!
I homeschool for many reasons, but constantly being with my people isn’t one of them. I don’t think being with each other 24-7 would be good for our relationships. We need friends, mentors, and communities beyond our family of four.
If you find your patience lacking, take note of how you are filling your buckets. Do you have time for yourself every day? What would it look like if you did? How can you set up that time? What supports do you need?
Do I see Patience as something I can practice?
No one has patience 100% of the time. If you compare yourself to someone who seems to have a calm and patient demeanor, you aren’t seeing the entire picture. You might be seeing someone who is working hard on practicing patience.
How do we practice having patience?
In the same ways we encourage our children to calm down when they are having a rough time.
- We take time for ourselves
- We count to ten
- We take a few deep breaths
- We get a snack
- We focus on what is working
- We ask for help
- We apologize when we make a mistake and try again
- We make sure we are getting enough sleep
We are more likely to have patience when we practice it, take care of ourselves, and when we want to be where we are doing what we want to be doing. If homeschooling is calling to you and your family, I’d love to help you. Curiosity Encouraged is filled with homeschooling resources; I offer mentoring and reading and writing classes for kids, teens, and adults.
Let’s connect! Join my newsletter or send me an email. You can also join me live each Wednesday at 8:30 am ET on Instagram, where I talk to my good friend Charlotte about all things related to being a working homeschool mom.
Don’t ask yourself if you are patient enough to homeschool. If you want to homeschool and your people are on board, be sure to carve out time for yourself and be ready to practice patience.
Homeschooling, like parenting, is a journey and a practice; it is alive. Some days you will have patience, and some days you’ll go to your room, shut the door, scream into a pillow, say something you regret, or cry. But, eventually, you’ll take a deep breath and practice having patience again. I’ve never once regretted homeschooling. I would have never started if I had waited until I had enough patience.
