You’ve probably heard people who regularly practice gratitude are happier. “Gratitude not only makes people feel good in the present, but it also increases the likelihood that people will function optimally and feel good in the future.” (Counting Blessings Versus Burdens: An Experimental Investigation of Gratitude and Subjective Well-Being in Daily Life). Feeling grateful isn’t always easy, though. When life feels hard, it can be difficult to see the gifts among the challenges. It’s why gratitude is a skill that needs to be practiced. 

‘Tis the season of giving and receiving. Here are a few of the gratitude practices our family finds meaningful.

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Gratitude Practices for Children and Families

How does your family practice gratitude? There are so many ways to offer thanks each day. Here are a few of our favorite ways. 

What Are You Thankful For

We often spend time naming the things we’re thankful for. Dinnertime or before bed, I’ve found this practice helps my children (and me) focus on what they have and love rather than focusing on worries or wants.

Recently, my daughter started naming the top five things she loved or appreciated during her day. If she can’t come up with five, no problem. If it’s been a crappy day, it’s okay to name what was hard instead. 

Write Letters of Thanks and Love

My mom encouraged me to write letters at an early age. Growing up, my family moved overseas twice, and when we lived in the States, we never lived near family. Letter writing nurtured my relationships. While Facebook, Facetime, and much cheaper long-distance rates helped my children connect with our family, who all live far away, when they were little, I encouraged them to write letters. Always excited to get mail, their grandparents and aunts/uncles appreciated the drawings and the gratitude their letters carried. Now that they’re older, emails and texts are more my kids’ speed. Either way, writing is a wonderful way to show gratitude.

Create a Display of Gratitude

Many years ago, I found a wooden pumpkin at a craft store. For whatever reason, it spoke to me. I brought it home, painted it orange, and every year since, we’ve each written one or two things we’re grateful for. Over the years, we’ve been thankful for jobs, getting into a Ph.D. program, finishing school, new pets, a sister, leaving work, not moving, pizza, and crackers. It’s become a timeline of sorts. Every time I stop to look at it, it brings me joy.

A Gratitude Tree is also a sweet way to collect the things your family is grateful for. My kids had a lot of fun making our tree each year.

Keep a Family Gratitude Journal

There are many ways to keep a gratitude journal. Some people like to write in one to close the day. It could become part of a bedtime routine, or maybe keep it in the kitchen or somewhere you all gather often. Ask one child to be the scribe (a reluctant writer might find it fun) or make it a part of your family rhythm one day a week, maybe on Sunday.

A piece of paper on the fridge could also be an easy place for everyone to record their gratitude. Once it’s filled, display it or tuck it into a photo album, and pull out a new piece of paper to begin again.

Use What You Have

When the “I want” starts, I try redirecting us toward everything we already have. Reorganizing toys, finding new ways to use craft supplies, making gifts, or pulling out the things my kids haven’t played with in a while help us keep our focus on being grateful for what we already have. New is only new for a moment, and the “it” thing often loses its appeal pretty quickly. Instead, I try to make sure we love the things we have and use and appreciate them. If that’s not the case, it’s time to find the object a new home.

Keep Only What You Love and Use

The things we own can easily own us. I’ve found it’s hard to appreciate what we have if we have too much or we’re surrounded by things we don’t love or use. We can start to take having things for granted, not take care of our things, or feel like we always need more, more, more.

Part of my family’s gratitude practice is to regularly survey what we own. We keep the things we use and love and pass on what no longer fits into those two categories. A spot in our house briefly holds everything we no longer use or enjoy. We’ve participated in neighborhood yard sales and regularly donated what we no longer need. Rarely do I find we miss something we’ve gotten rid of, and our home is filled with only things we love, use, and are grateful for.

Give to Others

Serving others is an important piece of practicing gratitude. Whether it’s donating food, gifts, or time, giving not only helps those in need but also offers us a chance to reflect on what we have and are grateful for.

Food pantries, homeless shelters, non-profits, and animal shelters; neighbors, friends, and family; picking up litter on the street, buying angel trees, donating things we no longer use- there are so many places and ways for families to give and help others.

I encourage gratitude because I want my family to feel thankful deep down.  I want my children to find and feel contentment, appreciate what they have, and be aware of how fortunate we are. I hope they see the hard work and thoughtfulness others offer, and they are touched, not just by whatever they are given, but by the love and kindness the act or object symbolizes. And I hope their gratitude prompts them to want to give to others during the season of giving and throughout the year.